I’m been a mom for eight weeks now and I can honestly say that I couldn’t have possibly been prepared for this new role. Transitioning to motherhood offers a huge learning curve in knowing to trust your gut and tune out other voices, adjusting your schedule and remembering that you only get to see your baby be your baby once. It’s a lot to learn at once, but moms everywhere do it every day! I try to remember that when I feel like I’m about to lose my shit…
Here are a few things that I’ve learned about transitioning to motherhood.
There are no ‘rules’ to motherhood
Okay, there are a few rules, like obviously don’t put your baby in harm’s way, give them anything that could hurt them, feed them solid foods right away, let them sit in a dirty diaper, etc. But I came into this thinking that there were rules about everything. It came as quite a surprise to me that there wasn’t a rulebook on when you need to transfer baby to their own crib or how often you need to pump. I thought that swaddling was mandatory and that there would be a schedule for tummy time. What I’ve learned is that each baby is different and you don’t have to do things the way that others do. Motherhood is a lot of trusting your guy and believing that you know what’s best for your baby.
Mara hates being swaddled, so we stopped swaddling her. I was accidentally waking her up all night when she was in ‘active sleep’, so we moved her into her crib in her own room at three weeks and she sleeps like an angel. We do tummy time when she seems up for it. She’s so unique and we know, she wouldn’t play by the rules if there were any to begin with!
Fearing judgment doesn’t help anyone
I’m not often afraid of judgment. I put a lot of my life online and on social media without much fear, but when it comes to motherhood, that’s a whole other story. In these first few weeks, I’ve learned that fearing judgment from others doesn’t help anyone.
There have been many women around me that have dreamt of being moms for a long time. They would talk about how they couldn’t wait to have a home full of babies and be stay-at-home moms. I have never been that woman. I worried that I would be judged as a mom because I never felt ready and because I didn’t dream of being a SAHM. I love Mara so much and love being her mom, but I also want to be a successful business owner, a very involved dog mom and a great partner, daughter, sister and friend.
Outside of that fear, I also worried that I would be judged for not breastfeeding. It’s honestly annoying that there is judgment on any side of the ‘how you feed your baby discussion’. I know myself very well and I knew that breastfeeding would not be a good idea for me from a mental standpoint, which would make it the wrong choice for Mara as well. She needs a happy, mentally good mama more than she needs breastmilk. I did pump for a couple of weeks, but at the end of the day, she’s fed, growing and happy.
The more that I thought about my fear around judgment on this topic, the more I realized how important it is to push that fear aside and talk about it openly. A popular blogger that I follow shared why she didn’t nurse her kids, despite receiving a ridiculous amount of judgment for it, and hearing her story made me feel better about my decision. If one mama feels better about their decision from reading this post, it’s worth it to put myself out there.
She’ll never be this little again, so soak it up
I work from home, so I’m almost always with Mara and there have been many moments that I’ve been working away and thought, ‘She’ll never be this little again. Put the laptop away and be with her.’ It’s quite an adjustment to go from doing things on your own schedule to doing things on a little human’s schedule, but I’m doing my best to put the phone or laptop away when she’s awake and engage with her. I love making her smile and watching her see and try new things!
I’ve learned a lot in these first eight weeks of transitioning to motherhood and I know that there is a lot more to learn along the way!
