I debated for a long time whether or not to write this post. I’m not yet a mother, and I don’t think that I’ve truly experienced mom-shaming, but I believe that it has been somewhat present in my pregnancy.
I’m sure that there have always been many different ways to raise a child, but when social media entered the game, so did a whole lot more judgment. I see it in Facebook groups, Instagram comments and DMs all the time. But it’s not just online. It can also be seen IRL, even when the shamer isn’t intending to shame.
In pregnancy, I don’t think that I’ve experienced full-on mom-shaming, but I have certainly been the recipient of unsolicited advice, opinions and I’ve avoided certain subjects because I’m not ready for the judgment that follows those conversations. For the most part, I can let the comments of others, especially those that don’t know me, roll off my back. But when you have so many opinions flying at you at a time when you’re just trying to enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime experience of your first pregnancy, it’s honestly very overwhelming.
I’m the kind of person who likes to do her own research. Trust me, I’ve been reading books, articles and blogs researching products for baby, sleep training, feeding practices, all of it. I’ve asked a few of the moms closest to me some questions as well, and my doctor of course. It’s all a lot to take in, and I think that the best thing that everyone can do for a soon-to-be mom and dad is give them some grace and space. Let them come to you.
The conclusion that I’ve come to is that, for the most part, moms just want to relate to someone. They want others to buy the same stroller, follow the same sleep schedule and raise their babies the same way that they do so that someone else will share their experience. I understand the need to relate, but I also think that if we all raised our babies the same, they might not become the special, unique individuals that they’re meant to be. They might not complement each other as well either.
As a blogger, I share what I’m buying for baby, my pregnancy experience and I’ll probably share some posts here and there about motherhood. I have always enjoyed reading other’s experiences through blog posts or Instagram captions, so I hope that some of you may enjoy doing the same on my blog. That said, if you don’t agree with my product choices or how I will care for Blob, that’s okay! Just please don’t feel the need to shame me (or any other mom) for it. I’m all for conversation, as long as it’s respectful, understanding and you can acknowledge that not one of us has all the answers.
It’s unfortunate that parents have to go through such a wild experience with the fear of being shamed for their decisions, but it’s a tough reality. Let’s just raise good, cool kids and support each other, kay?
And to all of you who have dealt with mom-shaming, felt overwhelmed or uncomfortable, I’m thinking of you and I’m sure you’re doing a great job!
