Let me start by saying this: labour, postpartum and recovery have been nothing like what I expected. It’s very hard to prepare for this experience when you’ve never done it before, so I thought I’d do a little Q+A to answer some of your questions on the topic.
If you’re curious about how Mara was delivered and the hours leading up to that, I went into detail about the day in Mara’s Birth Story.
What did you experience postpartum that you weren’t expecting?
Omg. Everything. I had no clue what to expect postpartum! Add a C-section to the mix and I was not prepared. Since I pushed for three hours and had a C-section, the doctor told me I’d be lucky enough to recover from both… I don’t know that I had much to deal with from the pushing, other than exhaustion. The C-section recovery is a whole different story. I used to think C-sections were the easy way out, but I now know that the recovery process is absolutely brutal.
I would argue that the recovery of the C-section is more difficult than the 11 hours of labour and three hours of pushing. I wasn’t expecting that I would need help walking to and from the bathroom, that Kirby would have to give me a shower while I gripped the shower seat in pain, that I would be wearing compression boots to avoid blood clots or that it would be weeks before I felt like myself again.
The biggest thing that I hadn’t expected though was that I wouldn’t be able to do much to take care of my baby. That I wouldn’t be able to hold her without help for hours. That I wouldn’t be able to change her diaper or feed her for days because I was in too much pain. That I would have to watch Kirby figuring out parenthood while I was unable to help with anything.
On top of all of that, I was not prepared for how long I would be bleeding or for the intense emotions! So many tears, so many feelings.
How much of your birth plan was planned accordingly?
We didn’t have a birth plan! I knew that trying to plan for the birth would just stress me out, so I chose to not plan anything really. I told Kirby and my doctor that I wanted whatever was safest, fastest and the least amount of pain. Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t have a plan because it probably would have been tossed out the window! I felt like I had very little control over anything that day, so it would have been hard to plan for.
How did you know you wanted a baby?
I knew that I wanted to have a baby with Kirby and that I wanted to see him become a dad. I knew I was ready when I started thinking about the kind of human that we could make together and the fun things that we would do as a family. I think the coolest thing about having Mara is knowing that she’ll have a bit of me and a bit of Kirby in her looks and personality, but she’ll also be her own unique person.
Most useful/important things you brought to the hospital?
I feel like I didn’t use most of what I brought to the hospital! I would say that the most useful things that we brought were a phone charger, scratch mitts and blanket for Mara, wet wipes, burp cloth and pacifier. I didn’t use much else, other than my body wash, shampoo and conditioner because I was desperate to shower!
Postpartum healing tips and tools?
I’m still trying to figure this one out. I have tried to listen to the doctor and take things very slowly and not overdo it. I think I succeeded at that until about a week and a half in. I let Kirby and family help take care of Mara while I healed a bit. My parents brought over a recliner chair so I could sit back a bit and I practically lived there for a week and had people hand Mara to me. Getting in and out of bed and the chair was the most difficult, and standing too long, but I do think that walking carefully around the house every now and then helped.
As for tools, I didn’t really use much. I used the FridaMom Disposable boy shorts and Kirby kept a basket stocked in the bathroom on a stool for me with pads and extra TP so that I didn’t have to bend down.
It has been very frustrating to not be able to do things like feed my dogs or pick up my phone when I drop it, but I would rather ask for the help than set myself back in my recovery.
What was the most difficult part of labour?
I can’t speak to vaginal delivery, since we didn’t get that far, but for me, the most difficult part of labour was when the doctor said we were done and had to have a C-section. It was devastating to know that I had been through all of the pain and waiting and I wasn’t going to be able to complete the experience on my own. I was also very scared in the operating room, as I really had zero clue what was about to happen.
What is it like to have a C-section?
Super weird – lol. It’s weird to know things are happening to your body that you can’t see or feel. I couldn’t feel pain, but felt a lot of pressure. In my mind, I thought it felt like a bunch of metal posts were being inserted into my belly and then all of a sudden, the doctor pushed on the top of my belly once and Mara popped out.
Although it was scary and major surgery, the recovery was worse for me than the procedure itself. It’s hard for me to sit still, and that’s about all you can do to recover! I experienced a lot of stinging pain at the incision and sharp pains near my hip for the first two weeks, but it is getting better for sure.
Labour, postpartum and recovery were nothing like I expected, but all in all, it has all been manageable. I feel like it is really rough when you’re going through it, but it gets better day by day.
A lot of moms told me that once I held baby in my arms, I would forget all about the labour experience. I didn’t believe them, and honestly, I have not forgotten a second of it. She is so incredibly worth it and totally makes up for the pain and mental challenges, but no, I have not forgotten about those!
I hope this was a helpful Q+A! Also, I wouldn’t have gotten through this entire experience without Kirby, my mom and sister. Kirby has taken amazing care of Mara, me and the dogs, and my mom and sister have been around to help every day since Mara was born. Her and I are so lucky to have them!
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