On July 21st, 2021 at 10:34pm, Kirby and I welcomed a baby girl, Mara Eilleen Carter, into our family. She did not enter the world the way that we imagined she would when my water broke at 1am that morning, but we couldn’t be happier that she is here, healthy and ours.
So things started out quite a bit earlier than when Mara actually arrived. About 10 days before, I had a horrible sleep one night. Heartburn and intense back pain kept me up most of the night. The next morning, I swore I had a couple of contractions, but they stopped pretty quickly. Luckily, I had a doctor’s appointment the next day to figure out what was going on.
My doctor confirmed that I was 1CM dilated and had about 1CM to go in thinning the cervix. We booked an appointment for the following week, but she said she wouldn’t be surprised if I went into labour before then. She also said she highly doubted I’d make it to my due date at this point.
The following days were ROUGH. I had pretty constant back pain and my legs felt like they were going to break at any moment. I can’t sit still long, so relaxing wasn’t really an option for me, plus I couldn’t find a comfortable position to save my life. The worst part had to be not knowing what to expect though. Every twinge in my belly made me go, “Is this a contraction?!”.
At 1am on July 21st, my water broke and Kirby and I headed to the hospital. I was not having any contractions (as far as I could tell), so we were sent home and asked to come back at 7:30am to be induced. We arrived back at the hospital just as the rest of my water seemed to make its way to the floor.. I was induced at 10am and started to feel strong contractions around 11am.
Over the next seven hours, I breathed through the contractions, got an epidural and felt completely helpless. At 6pm, my doctor arrived and said I was fully dilated and ready to push. I then proceeded to push for three hours and she barely budged. Just before hour three, I said I didn’t think I could do it anymore. I know doctors hear that all the time and know that many moms can in fact do it a bit longer, but Kirby knows me and he knew that if I was saying that, I meant it. So he advocated for me and told the doctor that if they thought there was a chance of her coming out with 30 more minutes of pushing, to let us know, otherwise we wanted other options.
The OB came in and said we weren’t going to get anywhere with more pushing and it was time for a C-section. I bawled my eyes out. I had nothing against C-sections, but to have done all of that work all day for nothing, was devastating. I felt defeated and afraid.
In the operating room, I was overcome with a feeling of fear. I don’t get scared like that easily, but laying on the table waiting to be cut open was not fun. Kirby came in and came up to me and I told him I was scared. I’m sure he was too, but he stayed strong and talked me through it. Seconds later, he announced that we had a beautiful baby girl.
Mara came out screaming and I immediately started bawling my eyes out. It was an overwhelming feeling of relief, followed by pride and intense love when she was brought over to me.
I’ll talk more about postpartum at a later date, but the recovery process is more difficult than I could have ever imagined. Not being able to really take care of my baby is heartbreaking, but Kirby has been amazing and we are so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl. We’re obsessed with her!
Mara’s Birth Story: Where does her name come from?
I had first heard Mara’s name on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland – don’t look into the Eyes of Mara – lol. I thought it was a beautiful and strong name, and that’s exactly what I wanted for a baby girl. I was lucky that Kirby liked it too! Her middle name, Eilleen, is my auntie’s name. She passed away from cancer a few years ago and was one of the kindest and most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. She had a knack for always gifting things you didn’t know you needed. I’ll never forget when I was moving to Edmonton and she gifted me a set of towels. Towels – like duh! I was about to move out for the first time and I had zero towels, but she just knew what I’d need. I hope that Mara is as kind, thoughtful and genuine as her Great-Auntie Eilleen.
I think she looks so much like Kirby and others think she looks just like a Hill. I can’t wait to see her grow up and I’m so grateful to have a little best friend for life.
And that’s Mara’s birth story!
